Wedding planning is stressful, and sometimes you just have to scream. However, it is important to keep in mind that you shouldn’t scream at the people around you! Although getting ready for your big day is tough, if you keep your cool and use your manners, people will be nicer to you in return. Pleasant brides-to-be can be hard to come by, so people who deal with bridezillas all day will be happy to help you. You might even get some special treatment! Here’s an A to Z guide to wedding planning etiquette to help you beat down the bridezilla in you:
Answer your phone. Playing phone tag is no fun, and when you call back someone who is trying to help you, they may be busy with another client. So, when your phone rings, pick it up instead of letting the machine get it. The call could be important.
Bring a pen and paper whenever you meet with someone, be it a florist or a caterer. It’s annoying to have to repeat prices, dates and other information multiple times.
Call your parents (and the groom’s parents) as soon as you get engaged. Trust me, they don’t want to hear it from someone else, and the news will travel faster then you think!
Don’t yell. Even if you’re angry, keep your voice calm. If you have to yell, do it in writing, where you can re-read what you’ve written instead of mistakenly saying something that you don’t mean.
Eat lunch with any friend or family member that helps you out for the day. I know that your life is consumed with wedding appointments, but if that’s all you do with those you love, it begins to feel like you’re using them. Show them that you enjoying spending time with them, even if it isn’t for a wedding-themed activity. Having lunch between appointments only takes an hour!
Find the less expensive options, but don’t announce that you’re doing so every three minutes. You’ll begin to sound cheap.
Give people a break. Yes, some people are jerks. However, sometimes the person you’re dealing with is just having a busy, rushed day. Try to be patient.
Have an idea of what you want to do with your hair on your wedding day. Do you want to wear your hair up or down? If you have a basic idea, the hairdresser won’t waste time testing styles that you know you won’t like.
If you have a house-sitter for your honeymoon, budget to pay them and pick them up a little something from your trip.
Jokes about “always the bridesmaid” get old. If you have some singles in your wedding, don’t call attention to the fact that you’re getting married and they aren’t.
Keep a date book of your appointments and show up on time. Vendors have a lot to do in a day and are dealing with multiple brides at any given time. If you’re late, you throw off their schedule and the schedules of other people.
Look for problems that the DJ, caterer, and your other wedding vendors might have with getting into and out of your reception location. Remember, they may have large, heavy pieces of equipment. If you mention beforehand that there are lots of stairs, awkward doors, or tight spaces, they’ll bring carts and other things to help out. Believe me, they’ll appreciate the thought!
Make bridesmaid dress choices that are inexpensive, especially if the dresses will need to be altered. Respect the budgets of your friends and they’ll be more willing to wear something that they don’t particularly like.
Note reservation deadlines and stick to them.
Order invitations well in advance so that you can send them early, especially if you have a lot of guest who will have to make travel plans.
Ps & Qs are important. A simple thank you is well appreciated by all.
Questions aren’t a bad thing, but be practical. If it is something that you can answer yourself by going to the vendor’s Web site, don’t waste time calling. The next time you’re meeting or on the phone, confirm the Web site’s information.
Read terms and conditions carefully. For example, what is the policy if your wedding date is moved? What if you change your mind? When are payments due? That way, if things do change, you’ll know what to expect. Don’t get mad about deposits lost or unavailability when they were in the contract you signed.
Smile!
Taste-testing cakes, wines, and other foods for your wedding can be a lot of fun, but you’re bound to come across some thing you don’t like. Be polite about it - foods are “not your favorite” instead of “disgusting,” Even if they are downright gross.
Unless you’re paying to hold your ceremony there already, make a donation to the church where your wedding is being held.
Visit the reception hall at least once with your wedding planner. Just because you have a wedding planner doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do anything. Check out the hall to discuss any issues you may see. If you don’t take an active roll in the planning, you’re likely to be disappointed.
White gets dirty easily. Don’t wear makeup when you’re dress-shopping so you don’t accidentally ruin necklines.
Xerox information about the hotel policies where most of your guests are staying (quiet hours, parking rules, check-in information, etc.) and make them available. The hotel will thank you.
Younger members of your wedding party won’t be as patient and easy to please when dress shopping. Instead of dragging them from store to store, head to one place in advance with measurements and pull out a few options to try on. That way, you can choose flower girl dresses and ring bearer tuxes in less than an hour, which is less stressful for the shopkeeper who doesn’t want to deal with a fussy three-year-old.
Zany problems happen to everyone. Did your organist break her hand? Did a snowstorm strand your best man in Colorado? What are the chances? Well, the chances that nothing will go wrong is pretty slim, that’s for sure! Have a back-up plan instead of getting stressed. If you’re ready with alternative, everyone’s lives will be easier, including your own.
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