Weddings cost a ton, and most couples have a little help paying for their big day. If this is your second wedding, you might be on your own, but otherwise, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for help from your parents. The problem falls with asking for this money. Are you uncomfortable about approaching your parents for help?

Hopefully, this won’t be a problem for you. Many parents will offer to help where they can without you having to actually discuss it. However, if your parents haven’t mentioned the finances, don’t be afraid to approach them to talk about it. They might feel awkward paying for things if you haven’t been clear about your preferences. Make sure that everyone is on the same page with payment issues!

[DISCLAIMER: We know that every situation is different and that in some families, it isn't possible to ask your parents for help. If you fall in this category, please realize that we're not trying to tell you to do something that you shouldn't.]

Traditionally, the girl’s parents pay for almost the entire wedding except for the bar and the rehearsal dinner, which the groom’s parents pay. For a full list of who pays for what, traditionally, check out the Our Marriage website. Keep in mind, though, that this arrangement doesn’t work for everyone. If the groom’s parents can afford more, they might opt to pay for many of the traditional bride expenses. On the other hand, both sets of parents may offer to split costs evenly with one another or with the couple. There is no right or wrong anymore when it comes to paying for the wedding.

So, how do you bring up the topic?

A good way to go about asking for money is to have a clear plan with your partner before you bring up the topic with your parents. How much can they afford? If your parents are struggling with monthly bills, it is probably impractical to ask for a $10,000 contribution. Instead, ask for what they can afford. Be polite and gracious. It is a good idea to treat your parents to dinner and ask there.

Try to avoid making it known who is paying for what. When each set of parents is contributing different amounts of money, due to what they can afford, things between your families can get awkward quickly. Instead, keep that between you and your groom. It can also be tricky when parents are divorced - try to consider the relationships of everyone involved, and plan the best way to approach each parent.

Most parents today don’t pay for the entire wedding, so be prepared to pay for some of the expenses yourself. You might want to politely ask in your invitation that guests gift money instead of items if they wish to bring a present. You can also look beyond your parents to your grandparents, approaching them for help if they can.

The bottom line? Don’t be afraid to ask for money. Your families are probably overjoyed that you are getting married, and they will want to help if they can. Clear up any awkwardness by bring up the issue of money early on in the planning period.

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