Traditionally, the bridal shower is a surprise, but if you’re not a fan of the unknown, you may want to have a slight hand in planning this celebration. Never throw the party for yourself (it is your maid of honor’s or sister’s job to do this), but you can be “in the know” about the party and even let your opinions about it be known, as long as you aren’t demanding. Here are some etiquette tips that your and the bridal shower planners should keep in mind:

• Only invite people who are invited to the wedding (the only exception is office parties, where everyone in the office should be invited, but are not expected to bring gifts).
• The mother of the bride and maid of honor (or sister throwing the shower) should not be expected to give a gift.
• The bridal shower should be held in the month leading up to the wedding.
• Do not open or use any of the gifts before the wedding.
• One of the bridesmaids should be in charge of recording who brought what gift. Thanks you cards should be sent before the wedding.
• It is in poor taste to mention gifts on the invitation, so many brides instead include a link to their wedding website which includes information about gift registry.

At one time, wedding showers were for females, but today, they can be co-ed, and should be if the bride has many close male friends. Make it clear when you send the invitations whether or not the party is co-ed, especially when sent to couples.

For more information on wedding etiquette, check out Team Wedding.

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